As I drive from work I drift.
Feet and hands move without
my direction.
Off to dream-land I go...
I met someone today who took
the path I didn't want to follow.
While I move through intersections
I determinedly make my wish--
A man to fold me in his arms.
A kiss hello and a lunch date to
talk about nothing meaningful.
Tears sprang to my eyes as I realized--
No matter how hard I wished,
he would never be.
I pulled myself away from that dream-land
and the fuzzy road came into focus.
Sometimes you pursue the path you never
intended to follow.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
The Bed Has Wheels
I'm in isolation. Because I have H1N1. But I'm pretty sure I don't... It started Tuesday with a cough and then quickly disintegrated into feeling like crap (I could use lots of colorful adjectives or pretty similes but I feel like crap). After about a day and a half of laying in bed and sleeping I figured it would be a good idea to visit the doctor. So I snagged one of my friends to drive me there and went.
I went through all the paperwork, the weighing yourself on the scary accurate scale, the same questions every single person who talks to you asks...and found myself facing a long, white, q-tip-y looking thing that was supposed to go up my nose. The nurse stepped in front of me, I gave her this horrified look and then the long, white, q-tip-y thing was in my nose. It kept going and going and then it got to the point where I was sure that she had enough whatever it was she was trying to get so she could see if I had the flu. I flailed, kind of. She pulled it out and I asked, "Was that enough?!" With an annoyed look she replied, "No." She then told me to sit on my hands if I had to and then WENT FOR THE OTHER NOSTRIL! I did better the second time around but probably only because I was sitting on my hands.
She gave me a Kleenex and then left with the long, white, q-tip-y thing carrying some of my brain cells with her (don't think they're gonna grow back). After what seemed like forever the doctor came into the room, looked at me uncomfortably, handed me a scrip, and told me I had the flu. I look at her and ask her point blank "Is the the 'normal' flu or do I have H1N1?" She says, uncomfortably, "I don't know, but probably H1N1."
What?
Okay, whatever... I leave the office a bit confused and head to CVS to fill my prescription. When that's done I head back to school and talk to my dean who FREAKS OUT. Says she just got over it and that since I have a temp. of 99.4 F I'm contagious, thinks that I'm trying to prove that since I wasn't going to see my roommate until late that night I won't get her infected (Really. I AM that stupid), doesn't say but implies that I was being irresponsible by waiting a day and a half to go to the doctor and tells me I have to wear a mask every time I leave my room.
Wow. Talk about paranoia.
So, now I'm in isolation. In a room that has nothing but a bed, with wheels. The thing is driving me nuts! I try and sit up with my back against the wall and it moves. I toss and turn while sleeping, it moves. I lean over to get my water bottle, it moves. I adjust my blankets, it moves. I do anything, it moves! I really cannot wait to go back to my bed (without wheels).
I suppose I should explain why 1. I don't think I have H1N1 2. I think my dean was being paranoid, and 3. Why masks are stupid.
1. Why I don't think I have/had H1N1
They prescribed me Tamiflu. Tamiflu is an anti-viral drug that halts the progression of the flu virus from cell to cell in the body. When tested to see if it was effective against the H1N1 virus, 99.6% of strains tested were resistant.
So, my conclusion is that since I started feeling better when I started taking my prescription, I may not have had H1N1. Not necessarily the most evidence based conclusion, but a fairly reasonable one.
2. Why I think my Dean was being paranoid
Okay. All H1N1 is, is the flu! Almost the same symptoms present. They are both viral sicknesses that really suck and last for a few days. I bet more people this year will die from the regular flu strain than H1N1.
3. Why I think masks are stupid
Honestly, masks don't really keep in and/or filter very many particulates. I laugh at the absurd people who think that wearing a mask is going to protect you from getting germs. They really don't help that much...
Well that's all I have to say for now--
Leise
I went through all the paperwork, the weighing yourself on the scary accurate scale, the same questions every single person who talks to you asks...and found myself facing a long, white, q-tip-y looking thing that was supposed to go up my nose. The nurse stepped in front of me, I gave her this horrified look and then the long, white, q-tip-y thing was in my nose. It kept going and going and then it got to the point where I was sure that she had enough whatever it was she was trying to get so she could see if I had the flu. I flailed, kind of. She pulled it out and I asked, "Was that enough?!" With an annoyed look she replied, "No." She then told me to sit on my hands if I had to and then WENT FOR THE OTHER NOSTRIL! I did better the second time around but probably only because I was sitting on my hands.
She gave me a Kleenex and then left with the long, white, q-tip-y thing carrying some of my brain cells with her (don't think they're gonna grow back). After what seemed like forever the doctor came into the room, looked at me uncomfortably, handed me a scrip, and told me I had the flu. I look at her and ask her point blank "Is the the 'normal' flu or do I have H1N1?" She says, uncomfortably, "I don't know, but probably H1N1."
What?
Okay, whatever... I leave the office a bit confused and head to CVS to fill my prescription. When that's done I head back to school and talk to my dean who FREAKS OUT. Says she just got over it and that since I have a temp. of 99.4 F I'm contagious, thinks that I'm trying to prove that since I wasn't going to see my roommate until late that night I won't get her infected (Really. I AM that stupid), doesn't say but implies that I was being irresponsible by waiting a day and a half to go to the doctor and tells me I have to wear a mask every time I leave my room.
Wow. Talk about paranoia.
So, now I'm in isolation. In a room that has nothing but a bed, with wheels. The thing is driving me nuts! I try and sit up with my back against the wall and it moves. I toss and turn while sleeping, it moves. I lean over to get my water bottle, it moves. I adjust my blankets, it moves. I do anything, it moves! I really cannot wait to go back to my bed (without wheels).
I suppose I should explain why 1. I don't think I have H1N1 2. I think my dean was being paranoid, and 3. Why masks are stupid.
1. Why I don't think I have/had H1N1
They prescribed me Tamiflu. Tamiflu is an anti-viral drug that halts the progression of the flu virus from cell to cell in the body. When tested to see if it was effective against the H1N1 virus, 99.6% of strains tested were resistant.
So, my conclusion is that since I started feeling better when I started taking my prescription, I may not have had H1N1. Not necessarily the most evidence based conclusion, but a fairly reasonable one.
2. Why I think my Dean was being paranoid
Okay. All H1N1 is, is the flu! Almost the same symptoms present. They are both viral sicknesses that really suck and last for a few days. I bet more people this year will die from the regular flu strain than H1N1.
3. Why I think masks are stupid
Honestly, masks don't really keep in and/or filter very many particulates. I laugh at the absurd people who think that wearing a mask is going to protect you from getting germs. They really don't help that much...
Well that's all I have to say for now--
Leise
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